When we are wounded in our souls – abandoned, betrayed, grievously hurt – we become the focus of a field of a broad and encompassing Love. We may choose to acknowledge it and perhaps to work within it, or we may completely ignore it, crawl into our caves and lick our wounds.
For the past few weeks I’ve been working within this field, and have garnered some pretty decent insights as a result.
One of them was that I sometimes need a smack upside the head.
You know, the stages of development of ourSelves are something like a Russian doll, each nested inside the other, but the whole doll includes every single smaller doll. Simple? Maybe.
One of the stages we go through at around age six – or 10,000 years ago, depending on your viewpoint – is the so called Red Value Meme, or Egocentric stage of development.
I’m not a fan of red – I shy away from wearing it, and it usually figures as one of my last choices in those silly quizzes which purport to analyze your character from your selection of favourite colours. Red is – well red is angry. And loud. And self-assertive.
The Red Value Meme describes the essential differentiation of the ego. It’s the stage where we finally stand up, yell out here I am, and make some attempt at controlling our environment and relationships. As I said, around age six or so.
Now I’ve been travelling with one of my lately-retrieved power animals, the panther, closely tucked in between my second and fourth chakras of late, and it’s done me a world of good. Whereas Pied Crow is a slightly cerebral, transcendent power animal, panther is visceral and personally-empowering, which may be part of why I was terrified of it when it kept pitching up in my dreams.
In meditation yesterday, after celebrating Beltane (indoors, as you can see from the photo), Panther tugged for my attention, and I suddenly found myself half a mile up in the sky in some kind of open dirigible, me and Pied Crow and Panther, and my two ancestral spirit guides as well. We hovered over a green maze next to a small forest – a location we’re often visiting so it’s familiar – and there down below, wandering the maze, was Terri in Red. We lowered a rope and winched her into the dirigible at once, and took her home with us.
Point: you’re supposed to transcend and include, not transcend and leave blundering around in the maze. Remember that, Aquila ka Hecate.
The next soul-tweak came this morning, as I was having a nap to the ethereal strains of Aeoliah’s Majesty – a piece of music which I found, much to my surprise ( although I don’t know why I was surprised) directly affects the heart chakra. I’m in the habit of making sure my chakras are all in dormant mode before I go to sleep, unless I want some very lurid dreams indeed, but for this nap I was just careless I guess. My heart chakra opened wide and started spinning – a feeling you just can not put into words which make any sense at all, but which is unmistakable nonetheless.
Imagine my shock, therefore, when my across-the-street neighbour – as disgusting s piece of bellowing, foul-mouthed white trash as you could ever hope to live far away from – let fly with a stream of invective at a member of his family. It sounded like a cross between a duck quacking and a screech-owl, but at ten times a normal animal’s volume. He does this quite often, and I’ve no idea why his family doesn’t just murder him -the rest of us in the neighbourhood have mostly learned to ignore it. But this time it cut straight into my open and active heart chakra, with a sharp, tangible pain.
Point: there’s a world of angry hurt out there, and loads of people radiating pure hatred and venom which you can pick up if you’re not a tad careful with the state of your energy centres.
Red Terri should, properly re-integrated, be able to help here. At least, I think that’s what she’s here for.